grandpa

It was 4 years ago today that my grandpa died. There are many times I go home and expect to see him come in from the backyard after a long day of work. Instead I only see remnants of him and his life. Walking into his office his books still sit on the shelf and his desk contains the last pieces of what he was working on. His workroom still has the hammers and nails set out for their next intended use and the Honeybarn is ready and waiting for its next harvest of honey. As time goes by these things start to vanish and find their own home elsewhere and memories start to slowly slip away. I find myself trying to hold on tightly to anything that belonged to him and his world-bringing home many of his books and collections of things. The arrowheads that he so meticulously marked and cataloged, the jars of shells and sand from places all around the world, his daily tasks and adventures written down on various calendars and anything tangible that brings back the memory of him. There are still many days that thinking of him and missing him brings me to tears. I try to hold them back and tell myself I need to just let it go-but then the tears start to flood back the many wonderful memories of him and I begin to become thankful & look at them more as tears of joy than sorrow. So at the same time as I try to hold on to the memory of him I am also filled with joy for him and the life he lived. He served God so strongly and faithfully-making his life a living testament and now he is eternally with the one he loved. I can only begin to wish that my life will completely mirror his someday. In the meantime I try to remember the many wonderful times I had as his granddaughter. He was just as much a father to me as my dad is and I am so grateful that I had these 2 amazing men of God in my life to help mold and shape me into who I am today. The sound of his voice has slowly started to slip from my mind and I often long to hear and remember it, even if it was telling me that I needed to stop dying my hair blonde because brunette was just so much prettier:) Of course, he would be extremely pleased with it now-since it has long since returned to its brunette roots. Nonetheless, those 23 years of my life were immensely blessed with his presence and I can’t even begin to fathom what my life would be like without his influence and love. 4 years ago today was one of the hardest days of my life, but now I am able to look back on it and be so thankful for the time I had with him and for where he is now-which is so much better than where he was towards the end of his life.

In the meantime my Grandma still continues to be such a strong woman in her 93 years. 93! I can’t even begin to imagine living that long-but she still continues to enjoy each day to its fullest and I cherish her so much. My family is so wonderful and when I step back and think about them I am overwhelmed at how awesome my life has been-I could never even begin to ask for anything better!